The Mountain

I sat on top of my mountain of privilege today, and I cried.

When I first started the climb, I couldn’t even see the peak – it was obscured by clouds and the glare of the sun.

I climbed past the Whole Foods that is so close to my apartment that I can see it from my window, its aisles of produce like glistening jewels, food abundance so overwhelming that a map would suit me better than a grocery list.

I scrambled across my long hot showers, my clean water that springs forth on demand at whatever temperature I choose, free from parasites, bacteria, and animal and human waste.

I hauled myself across ten years of stable employment and income security, the college education I received whose price tag my scholarships and parents absorbed.

I grappled with the color of my skin and the intrinsic privileges and advantages embedded within that I may never fully comprehend or appreciate.

I clambered past the percentage of my monthly income appropriated for luxury, indulgence, and waste. I stumbled over the criteria I use to decide what qualifies as a “necessity.”

I skirted the precipice of safety and liberty, freedom both “from” and “to.”

My lips were too clumsy to form the avalanche of thoughts and feelings into anything other than three simple words, barely audible:

“Why me, God?”

This has been my struggle this year – an increasing awareness of the ways in which the Lord has entrusted me with so much, and the ways in which I have squandered it on meaningless and selfish things. One of the consequences of going on mission trips is that it puts your life and your resources into stark contrast with how most of the rest of the world lives.  And once you’ve seen it with your own eyes, it’s something that you can’t forget.

What does good stewardship look like?  Not just money, but also time, energy, other resources, skills and God-given abilities – what does being a faithful steward of those things mean for me at this point in my life and in my walk with Christ?

I still don’t have all of the answers, but I am stepping out in faith in the ways I feel God is calling me to. One of those ways is going to Greece for 10 days this summer to work with a local ministry who runs a refugee welcome center, primarily serving refugees from Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan.  The trip is from July 26th – August 5th.  I’ll be writing about it in more detail as the trip approaches, but am getting started early with soliciting prayers from friends and supporters as we prepare for this trip.  The cost of the trip is $2,600.  If you’d like to support me financially, you can make a tax deductible donation using this link:  https://parkcommunity.church/trip-participant-detail/?v2pkgid=124318

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