First, I’m no longer Fickle and Floundering. I made some small adjustments to the nutrition plan I was on before, and have been sticking to that around 80% of the time. I think I’ve found a pretty good balance, but when I go out to eat, I tend to just order whatever sounds good, so I am committing to making better choices when I eat out. I have mostly let go of having appearance based goals. I will always have stuff that I’m self-conscious about, and you won’t find me doing any WOD’s in just a sports bra any time soon, but having abs really isn’t something I am willing to work for at the moment.
I entered the lottery for the Chicago marathon, and ended up getting selected so…I have a new goal. I really hate running. I ran a half marathon in 2011 and swore I would never run anything over 5k ever again, but fate conspired against me, so I’m gonna do the marathon and actually train for it this time. It’s not until October, so I have a ton of time to prepare. I ran today for the first time outside of a WOD – a whopping 2 miles. I’ve got some work to do. I’m not planning on following a conventional training plan. At this point, I will do CrossFit Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays, plus the endurance WOD on Thursdays, and then do a long run on Sundays where I gradually bump up my mileage over the coming weeks. I realize that is 6 days of training, and in a perfect world, I would be able to do that every week, but as long as I make it to CrossFit a minimum of 3 days each week and get my long run in, I should be fine.
CrossFit is going pretty well lately! I set a new deadlift PR at 200 lbs a couple of weeks ago. I FINALLY learned how to do kipping pull-up, which I’ve been able to do in three WOD’s so far. My hands are bloody mess though. I really need to take better care of my calluses now that I am doing pull-ups in the WOD’s. I also learned how to kip handstand push-ups (just like pull-ups, I knew how to do strict HSPU’s, but wasn’t strong enough to do them for reps in a WOD). I even did a couple from a deficit! It’s amazing how much faster I progressed just from going to open gym one time and getting some instruction from my fellow CrossFitters and a coach. In fact, I decided to invest in working with one of the coaches once per week on an individual basis so that I can get better at some of my “goats,” which are:
- Clean and jerk
- Ring dips
- Pull-ups (become more proficient in kipping, then learn chest-to-bar, and eventually…muscle up!)
- Handstand variations (push-ups, holds, walking, etc.)
My final, non-fitness related thought – I am feeling incredibly blessed lately by the people who have come into my life since moving here. I’m finding you can never have too many good people in your life, and recently, there has been quite an influx. Scripture says to love your neighbor as you love yourself. I think it’s common for people to use that verse to focus on improving their treatment of other people; however, for me, it is more pertinent to how I treat myself.
I easily see the awesome in other people. I forgive them their mistakes quickly and don’t hold grudges. I find it easy for me to love other people and to accept them as they are, flaws and all. Every friend I have has something to offer this world that is valuable, and I admire them all in one way or another. I can’t say the same about how I feel toward myself. I feel like perfection is a prerequisite for love and acceptance – if I’m not the prettiest girl in the room, the life of the party, the best performance in the WOD, the most successful person at work, or the best in any other domain of my life, I feel like I am nothing and other people won’t value me. It’s a pretty terrible attitude to have because I am rarely the best at or of anything in any given situation. So, for now I am striving to see myself the same way I see my friends and loved ones. I also need to realize that not everyone will take the time to get to know me, and even if they do, not everyone will like me or appreciate the things that make me who I am – and I have to learn to be accepting of that and not let it deflate me when it happens.