Once upon a time, there was a girl named Kayla. She realized in her mid-twenties that she had racked up a lot of conventional indicators of success, but despite this, she was quite unhappy and felt as though she were not working toward her full potential as a human being. She also had a long string of short-lived relationships and frustrating dating experiences, which is now playfully referred to by her friends as “The Trail of Tears.” Despite some sincere attempts to launch herself out of the this rut through trying new things and setting new goals, Kayla continued to feel trapped in a life that was lacking in fulfillment, joy, and purpose.
Then, due to what at the time seemed like a fortunate combination of coincidences, but now appears to be more like Divine Providence, Kayla found herself with an opportunity to advance her career if she were willing to move to Charlotte, North Carolina. The opportunity would mean leaving her comfort zone in both her personal life and her professional life, and starting over in a new place where Kayla did not know anyone far from her lifelong home in Phoenix, Arizona.
Despite all of her fears, Kayla decided to press forward and see if life somewhere else might be the catalyst she needed to overcome the lack of fulfillment she felt. She moved to Charlotte, North Carolina. She did things she had always wanted to do, but had always been too timid to try. She made incredible friendships. She rediscovered her faith and became involved in her church. She excelled in her job and realized that she possessed skills and abilities that she had never given herself credit for. She traveled all over the U.S. for work and took trips and vacations to places that she never would have thought to go. She started saying “y’all” without meaning to and raving about “low country food.” Because Kayla had taken a big risk and persevered, life was now perfect and she lived happily ever after.
…or did she?
The truth is I sometimes make decisions in my life because of what a great story it would be if things work out the way I want them to. Maybe that sounds silly to you, but isn’t that really what life is? A story that each of us is constantly writing and revising?
I naively hoped that once I moved to Charlotte, everything would fall into place, and I would get my “happily ever after.” I thought I would finally settle down. I thought I would finally meet a great guy who I could get serious with. I thought that I might actually buy a home instead of renting for 12 months at a time because I am reluctant to commit to anything longer than that. I thought I would find a job that was the perfect combination of excitement and responsibility.
Although many missing pieces DID fall into place when I moved to Charlotte, the puzzle is not complete. I am 28 years old. I am still single. I am still renting. I have realized that my job is really just a stepping stone toward bigger and better things, not something that I want to do in the long run.
My plan was to move to Charlotte and live happily ever after. I have come to realize, and more importantly to accept, that God has a different plan for me. It has taken me a lot of time, tears, and prayer to submit to that plan and relinquish my own. There are things that I want with every ounce of my soul that have not come to pass. And if they had, they would have significantly altered the trajectory I am on. It is time to let those dreams die. It is time to let go of what I thought I wanted and who I thought I was. It’s time to walk by faith, to trust in God and in myself, and to obediently follow where I am being lead, wherever that may be.
I have added a new item to the top menu of my blog labeled My Testimony. I felt compelled to write a “Thank You” note to my church, and ended up tweaking it a bit to become my personal testimony. I decided to keep it separate from my main content, but for anyone who is interested, it is there.
More to come…!