This question, “Am I done?” is so pervasive in my life right now and the lives of those around me.
You might ask this question about a relationship, a friendship, a job, a goal, or a dream. I am asking myself this question about several of those things right now.
The least angst-producing area of my life in which I am currently asking this question is regarding my body composition. My trainer measured my body fat again about a week ago, and I was down to 14.3% from 16.7% in a 7 week period. I didn’t really have a set body fat percentage goal going into this. I figured I would know when I was where I wanted to be. Have I been leaner than I am now? Sure. But leaner does not always = better. My performance in training remains pretty darn good, I have mostly adhered to structured clean eating with a few cheats/treats here and there and have been doing minimal cardio to get to where I am, which means my body composition should be easy to sustain. I am not experiencing the joint pain that typically comes with being very lean. Hormonally, I am still having my normal cycle, which is also something that tends to disappear when I get really lean. Most importantly, I feel good with how I look. I still have “trouble areas” that I am self-conscious about, but overall, I have shape and definition in my body that I am pretty happy with. From my perspective, I look and feel athletic, which is where I want to be. I still have 3 weeks of nutrition coaching left with Allison Moyer of Predator Diet, so I will finish out following her plan, but I think my pursuit of becoming leaner is coming to an end. I am done with that goal.
Friendship is another area in which I am asking this question. I know there are people out there who hold onto every friend they have ever made in life – I am NOT that person. I have a handful of friends whom I have known for many years, but my group of friends has changed and evolved significantly over the course of my adolescent and adult years. I think that people will play roles in your life at different times, but more often than not, one or both of you will outgrow the friendship at some point. Things that used to be a blessing can become toxic. Friendships that used to be reciprocal can become one-sided. And at those times, it is in everyone’s best interest to let those friendships go by the wayside. I have gone through some radical changes in my own beliefs and priorities in life over the past couple of months. These changes have reinforced some of my friendships, but they have also undermined others. A friendship that used to suit me before these changes may no longer be healthy and productive. It is always painful to let something you value go, but the more I struggle to hold onto this person, the more miserable and conflicted I feel. I am still struggling with the question, “Am I done?” even though I think I already know the answer.
The final area in which I am asking this question is related to my career. I have been in Charlotte and working as a disability consultant for a little over a year. It has been the best year of my life. Charlotte is beautiful. I have met so many amazing people here. My job has allowed me to travel a ton and to see and experience so many things. It has also taught me a lot about myself and helped me to realize that I have skills and abilities that I never knew that I had. I also have autonomy and flexibility in my job, and great work/life balance (when traveling isn’t totally ridiculous anyway). I am comfortable. Perhaps a bit TOO comfortable. Maybe even bordering on…complacent. I have also gotten great exposure within my company thanks to this job and have built up a very good reputation internally, which means opportunities are always a-knockin…
Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson once said, “My view is that if your philosophy is not unsettled daily then you are blind to all the universe has to offer.” I’ve always liked that quote. I pursue life experiences that scare me and put me outside of my comfort zone. Those are the experiences that forge character. Those are the experiences that bring the greatest satisfaction. Those are the experiences that make me feel fully alive. And as I bask in the comfort of my life here in Charlotte, I find myself asking, “Am I done?”
The unfortunate part about asking this question is that if your response to “Am I done?’ is “Yes,” then you have a brand new question to answer: