Competition Diary – 6 Days Out

541022_433859930022359_1183658962_nWhew!  I got back from my 3.5 day work trip to Boston yesterday.  It was rough, I’m not going to lie.  I wasn’t flawless.  Competing sometimes felt like the furthest thing from my mind.  It’s as if all of the negotiating/insurance information I was being immersed in during the conference pushed my usual life and personal goals right out of my head.  I had a couple of hundred calories extra on 2 of the 3 days, but nothing crazy.  I did work out while I was there as well.  However, I felt immensely relieved when I got back home and into my normal routine/eating schedule/environment.

The closer I get to the show, the less confident I seem to feel about how I look.  Everyone keeps assuring me I look lean and I look ready, but my perception is apparently off.  I’m sure it’s just nerves.  I anxiously awaited my coach’s response to the pictures I took on Friday when I got back, but he assured me I am right where I need to be and am going to come in looking exactly the way I need to!  I’m running on trust, faith, and fumes at this point!

I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what is going to happen after the show.  I don’t want to get too ahead of myself, but having a post-competition plan is really important.  I pretty much blew it big time after my first competition.  I gained around 10 lbs in 3 days, ate crap for about a month straight, and stopped going to the gym.  I felt awful.  And guilt-ridden.  And like the biggest hypocrite on the planet.

My prep this time has been much less rigid and extreme, so I don’t feel the kind of desperation and deprivation that I did last time.  I’ve had 3 cheat meals during the course of this prep.  I’ve been doing a moderate/sustainable amount of cardio all along, even now that I’m a week out.  I’ve continued to gain strength when lifting, and I’ve lost minimal muscle mass while getting competition lean.  I certainly want to have a nice meal once the show is over and celebrate, but I don’t feel this overwhelming urge to eat everything and anything like I did last time.  I pretty much hated training by the time I got to the end of prep last time, but am still enjoying my workouts at this point (although some are better than others).  I am still undecided about whether I will compete again next month in Charlotte, but that decision will obviously impact my post-competition plan.  I think it’s too soon to make that decision.  I want to see how I place and how I feel during and after the show in Phoenix.

One thing I’m excited about is I am doing a fitness photo shoot the day after the finals (which means no crazy binges after the finals are over on Saturday night).  Regardless of where I place, I think having some professional photos to show off my hard work will be a nice reward.  I’ll admit that I am kind of worried that my body won’t be “photo-shoot worthy,” but I’m doing my best to silence those anxieties.  I just really want them to turn out well and to be proud.  A secret goal of mine is to have professional photos of myself that are “fitspiration” worthy, so I’m hoping that’s what I’ll end up with!

So, as I find myself on the verge of “peak week,” I am feeling a mix of excitement, resignation, confidence, and anxiety.  After 15 weeks, the day I have been so diligently working toward and anxiously awaiting will arrive.  I can only stay positive and hope for the best!



2 Comments Add yours

  1. Mindy Irish says:

    I love your balanced plan! Keep plugging along. I can’t wait to see how the shoe goes! You’ve got this!

  2. Steve Colter says:

    Square breathing, positive self-talk, guided imagery (see yourself blowing them away with an awesome figure/strong poses), and goal-setting that includes post-competition photos which are better than any of your personal photos to date. I’m sure you look amazing Kayla!!

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