Unfinished Business

I’ve been in Charlotte for about a month now, and I am loving life!  I love the city, I’m meeting so many great people, my job is exciting, and I’m getting my conditioning back.  I’m already lifting more after 4 weeks of training than I was after months.  For reps, I am up to:

Squats: 135 lbs (not my personal best, but I’m increasing weight steadily)

Deadlifts: 125 lbs (by far the most I’ve ever done)

Dumbbell incline press: 40 lb dumbbells

Shoulder press: 30 lb dumbbells

I can also do more and more chin-ups every week!

However, I am feeling the itch to compete again.  I have mixed feelings about it.  I strongly believe you must have the right mindset and priorities in order to make competing a positive experience.  In all honesty, competing messed with my head and it took about 6 months AFTER the competition to get my head right again.  Timing is everything.  The amount of hard work, discipline, and sacrifice required to successfully compete leaves very little room for anything else.  It’s a minimum 3 month commitment, and if you are really serious about it, much longer.  I had originally planned to do my second competition in July, but decided not to because my priorities changed – once I knew I was moving from Phoenix to Charlotte, having fun and spending time with my friends and family became more important than competing in a show.

I feel like I have unfinished business.  I can do better.  I can be better.  I have this vision of a competitor in my head that I didn’t live up to, but that I still want to be.  I guess I feel that I didn’t completely achieve my goal, and it’s killing me.  In truth, I feel that I need a competition to motivate me in order to get myself physically to the point I want to be at.  I need that pressure, I need something to bring out the fiercely competitive side to really force me to push myself.

So…I’m thinking April.  There are two shows in North Carolina that month, so I can do one or both.  It gives me about 4 months before I would need to start cutting for the show, which means I have time to try to put on the muscle mass I need to place better, and also to be in better shape before I start cutting.  It’s a little scary to commit to competing this far out.  I don’t want to back out again, and so much can change between now and April.  I know I can do this.  I have an awesome group of people supporting me, including some new people I’ve met in Charlotte.  Let’s do this!

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