First, I know I have talked about embracing the uncomfortable in past posts, but let me tell you that wearing a sports bra to Bikram yoga is nothing compared to moving across the country to a place you barely know with no friends or family nearby. My commitment to embracing the uncomfortable has been pushed to its limit this week, and at some points, it has broken me.
My breaking point came on Wednesday. My mom had driven with me to Charlotte, but was flying home to Phoenix that evening. I was anxious all day about a bunch of things. I think I mentioned in a prior post about my somewhat ridiculous anxiety about driving to the airport that I overcame, but now I’m in a new city, with a new airport. The freeways in Charlotte are also quite confusing (not only is there east/west and north/south…there is also an inner/outer!) I was stressed about getting to the airport…stressed about being totally alone once my mom left…and even stressed about finding my way back home from the airport (also in Charlotte, the way you come to a place is never the same as the way you leave). I could barely get any words out at the curb when I said goodbye to my mom because I was so close to sobbing. A long hug and a quietly whispered “thank you” was all I could get out. It took all of my resolve not to lose it completely while driving home, but once I did, I broke down. I felt so incredibly alone. No friends or family even remotely nearby. The feeling of isolation was overwhelming. But, I got to the task of making my bed, doing laundry, and assembling my TV stand, which distracted me until it passed.
Thank you to those who have called/texted/emailed/messaged me over the past week. It means more than you know. I think that distance is a true challenge to any friendship, and I’m pleased that so many of mine seem to be passing with flying colors!
- It’s green! So many trees and flowers…breathtaking.
- No clutter! I only took what would fit in my Buick with me…everything else was sold, trashed, or donated. It feels wonderful to be free of clutter and useless junk (we’ll see how long that lasts).
- Fresh food! The grocery store chain out here is called Harris Teeter. There is one across the street from me, and it is amazing. The produce is so high quality because it’s grown locally. I found so much healthy/tasty food here, including “Carolina style” salsa, which is delicious!
- Ruts busted! I had routines and habits in Phoenix, some of which were not suiting me. Between driving for 4 days straight and being some place completely new, all of my old habits and ruts have been extinguished. It feels like starting over with a clean slate.
- New gym! I signed up at a gym today that is huge. I haven’t been consistently training or eating healthy for almost 3 months now. I’m ready to get into a new routine and get myself back into awesome shape.
- No meat?! I’ve been eating ovo-lacto-vegetarian for the past week. Not really sure how to explain that other than I’m trying to focus on fruits and veggies and am just sick of meat. Meatless meatballs taste awesome cooked in some Carolina-style salsa! This isn’t my first time flirting with vegetarianism, but I do tend to feel better when I drastically reduce my meat consumption. I find plenty of high protein alternatives to substitute though. Maybe meat will just end up being an every-now-and-then kind of thing…we’ll see.
- Southern hospitality! I have to say that it’s true in my experiences so far. Whether it’s the guy at the furniture store or the cable/internet service guy, everyone is very friendly, welcoming, and talkative.
I know my posts have wandered off the path of competitions and fitness, but now that I’m settled and beginning a journey of getting back on track, hopefully my blog posts will also follow suit.
My moments of panic, isolation, and loneliness are definitely not behind me, but I’m confident that I can manage them when they do come up. I just need to be patient – I can’t expect my apartment to be completely furnished/decorated, me to have mastered my new job, and to have established a new group of friends in the first 3 days of being here or even the first month of being here. Those things will come in time (I hope).
To my AZ friends/family/co-workers…I miss you!